One, two, three, I kept counting yet I knew very well that you never did. Today is supposed to be another number, but yeah, the number is just a number, right?

Three days after our breakup, I told you that I really want you to listen to “Yellow” because “I swam across, I jumped across for you” even though I cannot swim in the very first place. It is such a beautiful metaphor; I did everything that heaven knows I would never do, only for you. “Oh, what a thing to do”, right? Should I ask for a return? Was I a bit selfish there? Or was I just a plain naïve?

Life is simple or maybe it is complicated, so is love. And since then, love would never be the same again. It is not as simple as joy. Oh, what is love, anyway? I am sorry for being such a hopeless romantic–wait, why should I apologize?

But thank you for telling me that I was a joy for you. You were also my violet in the sun.

And that made me realize that you are not yellow, you are violet. You will always be violet because “you are made to sing on anything”. You beautiful, brilliant boy. A golden child.

(Besides, I am the yellow one, right?)

So, thank you for everything, Unies. Be joyful with your new joy–she is definitely a keeper. May life always treats you well. I truly wish you Godspeed on anything.

I lost you but I also found myself along the way. So I guess I win.


Nusa Dua, 20 December 2019; Singaraja, 1 January 2020